Hello again from the fire lookout! I’m over a month into my stay at my little home on top of the world, and it’s been one of the best months of my entire life. I don’t know if you’ve ever felt deep in your gut that you are exactly where you’re meant to be, but I’ve been feeling it in spades lately. Whether watching the sunset or driving into town, I’ve been overwhelmed with gratitude and euphoria, knowing that I’m in the right place at the right time in my life. It’s a wonderful feeling.
The best sunset I’ve ever witnessed
I think it all comes down to being present. At the start of this year, someone gave me a book called The Power of Now. Much to my amazement, it described exactly what I found on my walk across America. It spoke of letting go of everything and allowing yourself to simply be. In the present moment, there is simply peace. Anxiety comes when you’re living in the future. Regret comes when you’re living in the past. I discovered this on my walk and realized it was what I had been looking for the whole time. Since then, I’ve had experiences of pure presence here and there, but they were always fleeting. Crucially, The Power of Now taught me how to exercise presence in my day to day life.
Bitterness, recriminations, advice, morality, sadness — everything was behind him, and ahead of him was the ragged and ecstatic joy of pure being.
As I put what I read into practice, both my awareness of and my capacity for being have grown. As a result, this is the most present I’ve ever been, both in my life and at the fire lookout. What began as a gift from a friend has cascaded into moments where everything slows and I simply am. There are no worries. No clouds hanging over my head. Just simple being. In these moments, I’m fully open to all of the wonder around me. The beauty I would eventually take for granted in earlier seasons sings within me, staying fresh and new. The soft breezes ruffle my hair as I sit on the rocks, soaking in the land around me. I watch the raptors coasting from one air current to the next as the spicy scent of the pine needles rises from the ground. I feel the stillness of the mountains deep within my soul. In these moments, there’s a deep well of peace and a fountain of joy. In these moments, there’s nothing to do but be grateful.
To be fair, it’s easy to slip into these moments when I’m surrounded by so much beauty with so few distractions. The real test will be when I return to the chaos of the city. But I do know that the source of this peace lies not in the mountains around me, but within. And while there may not be any grand vistas in the city, there is still infinite beauty all around. You just have to slow down and let yourself be.
Books I’ve Read This Month
By Paolo Coelho
Rating: 5*/5
This is the book that changed my life. It’s the reason I’m a fire lookout. It’s the reason I walked across America. It’s my North Star. The Alchemist is about a shepherd boy in Spain whose dream is to see the Pyramids of Egypt. It’s short, simple, and sweet, but contains in its simplicity some deep universal truths. I reread it each year and recommend it to everyone I talk to.
By Timothy Egan
Rating: 4/5
I read this last year and reread it this summer because it feels more relevant than ever. The Big Burn centers on the establishment of the Forest Service in the 1900s, as well as Teddy Roosevelt and Gifford Pinchot’s fight against robber barons to create and conserve public lands for the people. Throughout, it builds towards the big burn in 1910 that destroyed millions of acres and would either make or break the nascent Forest Service.
By Timothy Egan
Rating: 4/5
Also written by Timothy Egan, The Worst Hard Time lays out in gritty detail the history and brutality of the Dust Bowl in the 1930s, one of the greatest manmade disasters in our nation’s history. While I’ve always been aware of its existence, I had no idea how truly awful the Dust Bowl was. It was grating, suffocating, and eradicating all life around it day after day, year after year. And it was completely preventable…
Ratings: [5* - All Time Favorite] [5 - Will read again in 5 years] [4 - Will read again in 10 years] [3 - Good story or prose, but won’t read again] [2 - Has a redeeming quality, but not good overall] [1 - Irredeemable]
I’ll leave you with a quote from The Alchemist. In my experience, it’s the truth:
“To realize one’s Personal Legend is a person’s only real obligation. All things are one. And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”
Songs I’ve Had on Repeat
Some Photos
The lookout from afar…
The lookout through the morning mist…
The sunsets have been top tier this season…
Thanks for being here. I hope you enjoyed coming along on this month’s journey! Let me know what you think about the new sections on my favorite books, songs, and pictures from this month. Any and all advice is appreciated. I want this newsletter to be something that’s genuinely enjoyable to you, so let me know if there’s anything I should add.
Also, you may or may not have noticed, but I haven’t posted any videos the past few weeks. I took a break from posting when I realized that my motivations had slowly become warped. During that time, I’ve been realigning my content creation with my original goals. Now, I’m recentered and excited to start making videos again, not focusing on what I can gain, but on what I can give. Thanks for sticking with me as I’ve been recalibrating.
Love always,
Ben